CHANGE

“Change is the only constant in life” – Heraclitus

*to skip the pontification and go simply to the “hack” that prompted this blog, skip to the last few paragraphs.

Change can be defined as a verb: to alter, modify, or replace, or as a noun: the act or instance of making or becoming different.

Transitions occur throughout our lives. Many events are completely out of our control. Consider the feeling of powerlessness you may have experienced (if you are old enough to have witnessed it) that accompanied the repetitive, shocking observation on our television sets of the Twin Towers collapsing to the ground on 9/11 and the chaos and confusion that ensued. Or, more recently, the overwhelm that is accompanying the novel Covid 19 virus that has gripped our globe, and the confusion, grief, and exhaustion that is daily news.

To live a life is to experience events totally out of our control which can cause us to feel powerless. Change can occur with or without our agreement. Conversely, we may initiate change stemming from an awareness that the sense of powerlessness is no longer acceptable or something to which we can continue to agree. Initiating change can alter events in our lives that have kept us prisoners of perception.

Regardless of the specifics, mechanics, and/or the genesis of the change, once it is given birth in the consciousness, the instance of change has been born. What follows is a transition. The transition may be immediate or can take time to germinate and then bloom into something that is observable or felt. Virginia Satir, an iconic and beloved psychotherapist, suggested that the percentage necessary to initiate change is simply 5%. Once the awareness hits home, so to speak, the change process has begun.

In theories of Transition, what may follow is an experience of confusion or numbing that accompanies being in transition. This can be considered a “transition zone” and while in this phase of change, one might feel cautious about steps to take or how to sustain a sense of hope while moving through the transition. Frequently this is the part of the change process where one’s insecurity will lead to requesting from, or “polling” from others, their best advice as to what to do to calm down the fear of change. What often ensues is a greater insecurity of feeling like one might offend the person from whom the counsel was sought should the requested counsel not be acted upon.

This leads me to a little “hack” that prompted this blog. A client of mine texted me the following: “So, I am getting ready to make a huge change in my life. And it’s stressing me out. Do you have any advice?” My texted response:

“Listen to how your body feels, not your mind..the mind plays tricks..the body’s reaction is not filtered through the ego….hence “my gut reaction”…trust your gut.”

Moments later, my client’s response: “Guts happy! Thanks Linda!” Then guess what? Two days later I got a text from the same client: “My gut changed its mind…” I won’t go into the strategies that we next employed in this particular blog as the important point is that we all have had the experience where we somehow “knew” that what we are about to do is not what we should do, but we disconnect from what our gut tells us and instead let our thoughts dissuade us from following our gut. Then the monkey mind begins. We have all had the experience where we looked back and wished we had followed our own intuition. When you are on the threshold of making a change, first ask yourself first what you should do. And then listen to what your body tells you. The body doesn’t lie.

Enhanced self-esteem and self-preservation blossoms once we trust our own authority.

You just may stop explaining yourself to others when you come to the realization that others can only understand your dilemma from their own level of perception. Be like a flower. Survive the rain and use it to grow and blossom. Ground yourself. Stop looking for happiness in the same place where you lost it. Change. Namaste, friend. YOU GOT THIS!